Breaking The Stigma – How To Rise From The Dead



Hi everyone!

First of all, a heartfelt thanks to Dr. Garret Smith and his relentless search for what´s making us all sick. He kept on until he found the truth.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!

Writing this blog and rethinking my past 20 years…gosh this is long… I am finally at the end of my journey. Life is good again and I can start living my life.

I had been to so many doctors, alternative practitioners, healers and nutritionists worldwide. I had been on many supplements and some medications and still had difficulty on a daily basis to function properly. In between I became very spiritual. I have been trying to figure things out and looking for answers. Why me? Do other people suffer like this?

I decided to write this story as maybe it will help someone else out there. That is also the main reason for this website.

My gosh where do I even begin, without going through my whole life story I will say I have suffered since my teens. That is a bit more then twenty years by now.

At that time, I didn’t know what else was coming my way.

One and a half years ago today, I didn’t believe I’d ever get well again.

But now I stand here with my head up and scream, write and blog it out to the world. I am well again! I made it. Don’t give up. There is the light at the end of the tunnel.

I wish I could reach out to every person who is struggling in life and get them to understand that there is a way to get out of almost every health condition you are struggling with.

Seeking Answers

Even when it seemed more and more hopeless and the strangest symptoms and diagnoses accumulated, I didn’t stop asking for the “why”. A diagnosis was never the reason for me to rest. I always went a little further and questioned each of these diagnoses. There had to be a trigger for all the symptoms. The body doesn’t pretend to do anything just for nothing. The body is intelligent. His reaction to the environment is intelligent.

However, no one could or wanted to answer the question of why. Diagnoseing was the only thing that mattered. So one could place me in one of the many boxes that existed for all these diagnoses.

In between, I seriously wanted to give up. Life became too hard to endure.

But I realized that life could go one of two ways, either continue the downward trend or pick myself up and believe that life had wonderful things in store for me.

And that’s exactly what happened in the end.

Four months ago, the cards turned.
I know now that I’ve been suffering from a poisoning all the time. But let me go back in time and tell you about how it started.


The Beginning

I remember when I was a teenager I had my first periods of extreme fatigue. It was more than just an ordinary tiredness. I could never pinpoint the specific cause of my tiredness. It was just there.

At the end of my training I began to suffer from various symptoms. I suffered from recurrent fungal infections. Something seemed to be putting such a strain on my immune system that I kept having these outbreaks.

Today I know that these infections and all my subsequent health problems had a common trigger. I was 18 years young and like many young girls all over the world I took the birth control pill thinking it would be safe to take it.

That naughty little pill.

It’s a crippling byproduct of birth control to cause severe side effects to which many women can relate.

I was young and naive. I wasn’t thinking about contraceptives triggering those things. I talked to my gynaecologist about it. She recommended that I do a test to verify if I was suffering from Human papillomavirus (HPV). I was told that many young girls with fungal infections were infected with this virus.

The result came in by mail. I had been tested positive. In a subordinate clause cervical cancer was mentioned, but not discussed in detail. In my opinion, it is grossly negligent how doctors deliver diagnoses. It scared the hell out of me.

One should never underestimate the power of thought. Diagnoses can do dangerous things to people.

My dad died of a heart attack after an emergency doctor told him he was okay, but he had to take care of his heart. As soon as the doctor was out the door, he collapsed with a heart attack.

I was now holding this letter from the gynaecologist and did not understand what it said. Did I have cancer? It later became clear that it is not so, but there is a risk. Couldn’t it have been written like that?

Time passed and after a few years I took contraceptive pills again. I only took it for a very short time. Since the relationship didn’t last, there was no reason for me to take it any further.

The Treadmill

From that point on, things just went downhill.

I got problems with my left ear. The feeling was as if, after bathing, water came loose from the ear. Of course, the ear specialist couldn’t find anything.

His idea was that maybe it had something to do with my teeth. An interference field from there, since jaws and teeth are so close to the ear.

So, I went to the dentist, but he couldn’t see anything suspicious either. His only guess was a Temporomandibular Joint Disorders The symptoms could indicate that.

Meanwhile I had gotten pain in the neck beside the problems with the ear. It was partly so bad that I could hardly move my neck. Add to that migraine-like headaches. Pulling pain in the left arm to the fingertips and chest pain. You can imagine that someday you think there’s something wrong with your heart. Once it was so bad, a friend took me to the hospital for a check. Everything was fine.

I eagerly wanted to know what was wreaking havoc with me.

I now tried to find out what this TMJ was all about. And there were actually experts for that. I had everything a CMD diagnosis needed. This was followed by dental imprints, jaw measurements and X-rays of the jaw and neck. At the end I was not only with the TMJ, but also with the diagnosis osteoarthritis in the temporomandibular joints and a scoliosis in the neck area.

I was prescribed special physiotherapy and a dental splint that was supposed to put the jaw in the right position. When I asked them how long I had to wear this splint, I got the answer that it would be like wearing glasses and I have to wear them all my life.

From this time on not only my health, but also my finances and a normal life fell apart.

I don’t remember how long that period of therapy lasted.
All I know is I was desperate. Every cent I earned, I spent on treatments.

Since I wasn’t feeling any better, I kept trying new experts. There was a new splint, new guesses, some new treatments, but basically nothing changed to the fact that I felt like shit.

I knew the way I was feeling wasn’t normal, but neither doctors nor Google could give me an answer why I felt this way.

Between migraine attacks, desperation and an empty account, however, things continued somehow.

Feeling sick was, I figured, my lot in life

I somehow got used to the situation and tried arranging myself with it. I had no other choice. I stopped therapy for a while. I wanted to get back to normal.

But the fire inside me, figuring out exactly what happened to me, grew again. I was always firmly convinced that there had to be an answer to all this.
So I started looking elsewhere. I tried it with various alternative practitioners and a gynaecologist specialized in electroacupuncture.

I’ll summarize what we uncovered:

  • Ebstein-Barr virus
  • Candida load
  • Parasitic load
  • Food allergies
  • Impaired intestinal flora
  • Toxic exposure (aflatoxins, heavy metals…)

These diagnoses were followed by treatments with microimmunotherapy, tinctures for the intestinal flora, parasite treatments and my first contact with a list of food restrictions. Of course I had to be sugar-free and also carbohydrates were suddenly bad for me. I successfully underwent my first brainwash and forgot to listen to the needs of my body.

All these efforts, but no notable improvements in my health.

Little did I know it would soon hit me even harder.

Welcome to hell

As life goes on, paths separate and new ones open.
I was now in a new relationship and despite my concerns I took oral contraceptives again.

The birth control pill did its job because it was over with sexual pleasure. But that was the least evil of all.

My legs kept hurting, my skin became sensitive and I didn’t like being touched. Besides, I barely bled during my period. The symptoms were extremely frightening and I immediately stopped taking the pill and haven´t used any since.

I transformed from a happy, lively upbeat and sweet women to someone gripped by demons.
By times I was very depressed and didn’t want to get out of bed and my emotions were all over the place.

Every day, I tried to push through the “slump“. I often felt mentally foggy. Cake and coffee gave me a little energy to make it through the afternoon, but the exhaustion would come on strong .

I remember reacting insane to my boyfriend and friends about things I can´t even remember. I smashed glasses to the wall and threw books out of the shelf
In my head, I thought, ‘This is not an appropriate reaction,’ but I couldn’t stop myself. I still remember the feeling — I felt desperate. It was so insane.
Many times simple day to day situations or an easy task at my job would trigger feelings of being overwhelmed.

Ich gewöhnte mich irgendwie an die Situation und versuchte mich damit zu arrangieren. Was blieb mir auch anderes übrig. Ich hörte für eine Weile auf mit Therapien. Ich wollte wieder normal leben.

Sadly, the symptoms remained long after I stopped taking the pill.
I was a hormonal mess. Birth control is turning women into hormonal messes.

I got extreme PMS. My breasts were swelling to more than double, I was crying and was always in pain.

Most of the advice I got in the doctor’s or natural practioners office or read about was the same old stuff: Get more sleep. Eat more vegetables. Cut out sugar. Exercise!

Nothing of this nonesens helped at all!

I was 100% convinced there was something wrong with me. And it wasn’t a psychological problem.

Go Vegan – They Said

The next glimmer of hope that now ushered in a new phase was three vegan years. We put so much hope in this diet, which, as I know today, had to fail.

It was not only the diet that fascinated us, it was the way of life that was conveyed. Animal welfare and reducing the high carbon footprint. It seemed perfect. If people could heal themselves from serious diseases by eating a plant-based food, it had to be my way back to health too.

At first it seemed to work. For the first time I felt more energy, my symptoms cleared up and after all these years of health problems it finally seemed as if I had found the root cause of all my health problems.

I believed veganism fit in perfectly with my determination to drastically reshape the world. Veganism seemed to be another way I could fight the injustices we are facing. But as the time wore on and my body began devouring itself for the sustenance that my vegan diet couldn’t provide, I began to lose all the health I thought I got back. I no longer had the mental clarity or the physical energy to live a normal live.

I was grinding to a screeching halt.

I struggled with more symptoms than before the vegan era. I again tried out new things that seemed meaningful to me and promised healing. Among other things, the “raw vegan diet”. I thought I just didn’t try hard enough.

I sought help from a vegan living alternative practitioner couple.

More new diagnoses were made. They started giving me high-dose vitamin D supplements. My low vitamin D level now seemed to be the reason I wasn’t feeling well. That it was not the case should be clear to anyone who has read our Vitamin D article.

I was suggested a course of psychological therapy, which of course would require a very long treatment time. That was the end of my treatments over there. I still was sane enough to not fall for that.

It’s an awful lot of effort to write this whole story down again. Above all, it is sad to realize how many years of life have passed in search of the cause.
But one must always try to see the positive side. I probably wouldn’t be the person I am now, without all these experiences.

The story goes on

In the meantime I was also immersed in the world of psychosomatic problems. Since I had become absolutely sensitive and reacted extremely to the smallest irritants (stress, noises, smells, relationships) I came to the topic of high sensitivity.

I read a book on the subject. It has been described that highly sensitive people often have a particularly high need /consumption of certain nutrients.

As minerals are essential in countless metabolic functions in all phases of the life process this seemed to make more sense then anything else I heard.

So I found me a doctor who seemed to be familiar with this topic.

Again innumerable and expensive blood analyses and tests for incompatibilities were made. Interestingly this doctor was the first to suggest that with given results it would be beneficial if I ate a few animal products. But I didn’t like it, I still was a vegan. I got some supplements, because he had found some deficiencies in the blood tests. Copper, among other things. Not very helpful, as I was probably already suffering from copper poisoning at that time and giving me extra copper was worsening my mental condition.
That´s the reason why today I do bloodwork and hair testing. Both can reveal important values and are then used to treat with the right supplements. Same goes for many woman that are getting treated with iron. Many times they suffer from an overload but are given extra iron which will mess with them even more.

From now on somehow all symptoms blurred into each other and at that time the triggers could hardly be kept apart.

Did these treatments help? Well, nothing changed except the numbers on my account. And that was not in a good way.

I then tried a naturopath for psychotherapy. Maybe I was crazy after all, just didn’t realized it.

Turned out I was not.

I always felt like I was too smart for it. There was nothing I was told that I didn’t already know. I was always one step ahead of the therapists.

The breakdown

At that time, however, I was so physically and mentally exhausted. I could hardly do my job anymore. I found a doctor who agreed to take me sick. So I stopped workinfg for half a year. I just couldn’t do it anymore.
I had turned one more time into a tired, depressed, weepy mess.
Of the myriad symptoms I’ve  listed here already and the ones I will not be describing publicly, the absolute worst of all was my depression. This awful, lifelong foe I’ve been battling on and off was sneaking back into my life, painting the edges of my world a sickening black and stealing the joy that I had fought so desperately to regain.
But giving up still wasn’t an option.
Since teeth are also regarded as interference fields, I had my wisdom teeth and inflammations of the jaws removed.
Doctors made big promises. These inflammations were advertised to be a root cause of diseases.
Guess what…It did not help!
But I wouldn’t be me if I hadn’t tried something new again. Body Ecology Diet was the name of it. In short, extreme restrictions on what you eat and rules on what to combine. And above all, hardly any carbohydrates. Sugar was also a no go and you should eat a ton of fermented food. Candida was once again the villain responsible for everything.
The only positive thing about this diet was that I started eating meat again. I needed a new source of energy and animal protein was the only one that was still allowed.

The end of veganism

The impulse to order chicken instead of greens and some veggies at my favorite restaurant was overwhelming. And, for me as a vegan, it was confusing, too. I wasn´t a vegan any longer, but it was the best choice that I´ve made since my health declined. My face felt warm, my mind peaceful, and my stomach full but….I searched for a word to describe how it felt….comfortable. I realized that for the first time in years, I felt satiated. I had only eaten a small piece of chicken, and yet I felt totally full, but light and refreshed all at once. It saved my sanity.
I’ve been coming across too many testimonials from people who’ve felt literally driven by their own bodies to go back to a more natural omnivore diet that they cannot all be dismissed as just being bad or failed vegans.
After all, if a vegan diet were natural for homo sapiens, it ought to be really difficult to mess it up, even in the long term!
But before I could finally start to regain my health on every level, I had to go through two more failures.

The “Detox-Clinic”

I stayed for three weeks at a detox clinic in Tucson Arizona. Kind of ironic, because a few blocks further Dr. Garrett Smith has his office.
But I didn´t knew him back then.

I don’t want to say that everything that was done in that clinic was bad. There were many aspects that helped me a lot. But most of all probably just the time out and the relaxation I experienced there and the nice contacts. I’m not going to elaborate on the treatments there. That would be a blog article of its own. But the main focus was on the detoxification of candida, parasites and heavy metals.

The candida phase. Probably everybody has to go through it. If you are still on that phase. Just stop.

The paradox of the Candida Diet is that symptoms greatly diminish. However, the patient doesn’t actually heal from the root cause of the problem. Even if the Candida Diet is used in conjunction with a gluten free, casein free diet, it fails in the majority of instances.

However, the whole approach at this clinic wasn´t right. They simply treated symptoms.It wasn’t right to take supplements there that I didn’t know I needed or not. And it wasn’t right to detox me without knowing my mineral status. So many things were certainly going in the wrong direction again just because I took minerals I didn´t needed or took high doses of certain supplements. Both is wrong. Today I’m testing to know what I need. I got introduced to intermittent fasting and the ketogenic diet. It was easy to stick on it at the clinic. Days had been easy and my greatest effort was to take a walk in the evening sun of Arizona.

At home I was absolutely failing with this concept. The fasting and the ketogenic diet in my normal everyday life and my physical work deprived me of any reserves.

I was sick of being hungry!

I was exhausted, depressed, and foggy-brained. I wanted to feel strong and grounded again. I suffered soon from insane anxiety and increased panic, as well as sensory sensitivity.

This wasn´t right. The guy from the clinic always told me it has to feel like this to become healthy. I have to go through years of suffering.

No. Nobody has to do that.

Healing is not a piece of shit over years. It can get rough for some time. But that will happen in cycles, and afterwards you will feel better then before. Not more crappy.

The time before Dr. Garrett Smith

My condition after the clinic scared me. I often had cramps in my legs at night and I was so weak that I could hardly walk stairs without being out of breath. The Ketogenic d